Tag Archives: mindset

Advanced dancer, Argentine tango, Art, be yourself, body awareness, community, Dance, improvise, Milonga, mindfulness, motivation, progress in dance, social dancing, social skills

Dance to share our humanity

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Dance, is probably not one of those things your financial advisor would list as something necessary. And generally Art does not appear high in the charts of things we need to survive. And yet history, but also experience, teaches us otherwise. Art brings us close together, allows us to form communities and to identify all as one, strong human nation. And that is very powerful, once we find the courage and grab the opportunity to share our humanity.

Dance to share

All types of dances and all types of art forms have this power, to bring people together. This is why, for example, juntas in the past would burn books, prevent songs from getting produced, ban theatre productions, even stop people from simply getting together for a celebration.

Especially though the forms of art that relate to folk traditions, and Tango is a great example of that, seem to be even stronger because they are created by more people, they are accessible to more people and generally involve more people. And dance itself being a language that involves the body, gives us the opportunity to communicate and relate to one another in a much more direct way, if of course we don’t get lost in translation.

The question though is what exactly do we share? And this, has been a question that I have asked myself many times, because I think it has a lot of layers to it and the answer changes as I grow, in age and in dance.

So at first I was thinking like a special snowflake, that my dance should be showing MY perspective, MY view of Tango, of dance, of the world. (nothing wrong with that by the way)
As time went by though, I noticed that the above grow smaller, along with the need to prove myself. And I was more interested in sharing the moment.
Sharing the moment, though, means coming in to listen and to respond; building a conversation. This conversation will be painted in the colours me and my partner bring in with us. Colours of experience, of memory and of the senses. Colours that we may not even be aware of. And we trust each other, to receive those colours with care. And this is how art grows.

When presenting to an audience, either in performance or in a class, I share my colours with the audience or the students, along with colours I have managed to absorb from predecessors of the art I am representing and the art I am bringing with me. And then that group of people will need to match me with their colours. As I trust them, they need to trust me and their partners. And this is how art grows.

What does it mean to share?

So what does it mean to share? It means to trust and to be vulnerable. Inevitably if you wish for a dance form not to feel foreign to you, you need to be ready to trust and therefore create this fine balance between being vulnerable and setting expectations for your audience, your students, your teachers, your partners. Because if you don’t have expectations from them what are you trusting them with?

And the level of expectation is built along with the trust and grows along with the sharing. “Sharing means caring” as they say. It is a cliche but you know what, cliches are cliches for a reason. Any dance, any art form received with care can become universal, can move the whole world. And it all happens through us, through me and you.

How we get to share?

Well, the first obvious choice, for those of us in dance, is of course to dance. And in more general terms, to participate in the reproduction or the spreading of the art form we are involved in.

But there is also another element. The element known, in the circles of Somatic Dance and Body Mind Centering, as holding the space for our partners. In Tango this happens in the classes when you hold the space for your teacher or your partner to keep exploring certain elements with you.

But also it happens in the milonga. And maybe you have heard many teachers say this, that Tango is not just the steps or the specific patterns; Tango is the music, the history, the community, everything. Tango grows and flourishes in milongas only if the people present, hold the space for it to grow.

Only if the people present are not there, just to do intricate steps on the music, but to be with the music, in their community, being there for their partners on and off the dance floor. When we are not dancing, we are not wasting time, for Tango to grow in our communities we need to hold the space.

The importance of dance and art in general in our lives

Can we live without art? Sure I guess we can. But it would be dreadful and lonely life.

Some people who have been to Buenos Aires, have experienced this holding of the space in some milongas. They come back and are trying to explain how it was magical but they just can’t find the right words. And the truth is, it is not easy to explain the feeling. But if I had to, I would say, it feels secure, grand, and full of possibilities. Possibilities though, that don’t feel out of reach. No, on the contrary they feel so close to you because you have the whole community backing you up. Magical!

So, I have changed my mind… no! we can’t live without art. It would mean forgetting we are human.

What do you think?

Chrisa

Argentine tango, be yourself, body awareness, Dance, Emboying the rules, improvise, mindfulness, motivation, Musicality, online tango practice, progress in dance, social dancing, tango movement lab, Tango practice

Dance like a child..!

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I always struggled with phrases such as “just dance”, they feel a bit ambiguous. I know what they mean obviously, but they can mean a lot and nothing at the same time. And so I am afraid that creates a wall for people new to the dance community, instead of liberating them. So I thought maybe we can use a different phrase, for example “dance like a child”.

“Just dance”, what does it mean?

To me, the way I understand it and the way I have used it in the past ( with no success), it means without thinking about the rules. Allowing yourself to enjoy the moment of dancing without having to think of what you have to do. Without having any expectations or trying to meet any standards. Maybe I missing something here but I am sure that I am close.

Now the problem is, this is not obvious to someone still learning to dance.
Why? Well I think for a couple of reasons.

If this phrase is used to describe the “warm-up dance” (we will get to this one is a bit), aka if this phrase is used at the beginning of a class or practice; well it is contradicting the reason people are there. People have walked in a class or practice to learn and advance their skill. They are in a completely different mindset compared to “just dance”. Inescapably the instinctual reaction is “I can’t just dance, that is why I am here”.

Secondly, if we are using this phrase in a social setting, such as a milonga, let’s consider the following problem. The amount of time the average person, wishing to adverse their skill, spends in a class/ practise environment far overshadows their dance time. So they are better at think-and-do than just do.

Thirdly, and naturally coming from the other two points, “just dance” is a skill itself. Dancing is a skill but just-dancing is just a little bit of a different skill. Which means it also requires training.

So bottom line, the average person receiving the cue, may understand all the words in “just dance”, may guess the meaning of the phrase but has no idea of how to actually begin to do that. Not to mention that they might not understand the phrase in the same way as it is told. Because you may have a different understanding of “just dance” than me. And as such, I think, we need a better phrase and system to help people build on this skill.

Dance like a child

Dance like a child or move like child, depending on the setting and the type of dance one teaches, can get us out of this little word trap.

Ask anyone, and they will be able to tell you what dance/ move like a child means. They will probably use words like, “freely”, “without limitations”, “carefree”, “not caring about the rules”, “having fun”, “moving around”, “doing whatever they want”, “living the moment”, “expressive” etc. I am sure you can come up with some more of your own. All though easily and securely leading to … enjoying the moment without thinking about the rules or someone watching..!

Which is EXACTLY what we want!

So I would like to invite you to start every practice and if possible every class with such a dance. A dance where you actually dance like a child.
Some teachers already start their class with a dance. And here I have another wording issue… haha
That dance is usually called a “warm up dance”.

Now to some level it is a warm up; your body is getting warm which is necessary for most activities. But I don’t really like the term in this context. Warm up is so fitness oriented, it kind of creates the wrong idea. Maybe we can say a prep dance instead of a warm up dance.

Prep dance, as in preparation dance. We are preparing ourselves, body, mind and spirit, for our class or practice. Which I think, even mentally can create the possibility for us to leave what we already know behind and open a window for new knowledge.

To fun prep dances everyone! Dance like a child!

Chrisa,

P.S: For more tips that go beyond technique check out our Guide: “It Takes You to Tango”

Advanced dancer, Argentine tango, Art, be yourself, body awareness, community, Dance, Emboying the rules, Milonga, mindfulness, motivation, online tango practice, progress in dance, social dancing, social skills, Tango practice

Dance as an act of kindness

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Most of us would never think about taking a dance class as an act of kindness. Think though, for a moment how you got into dance. Maybe you were dancing ever since you were a child. Or perhaps you picked it up at a much older age. Maybe you went with a friend or because you wanted to make new friends. Or possibly to meet a special someone. Whatever your reason was, the decision to learn how to dance was satisfying a need, a personal need.

And that is where it all begins…

Being kind starts with you

Noticing your needs and addressing them is an act of kindness. And it doesn’t even have to be as serious as I am making it sound. Simply, feeling the need to do something fun or something new with other people, and addressing this need by going to a dance class, is an act of kindness.

Same goes with choosing how to learn and how to practice dance. Or in general how to progress in any movement practice. Learning how to respect and listen to your body and tend to its needs is an act of kindness. Understanding when it is time to pause and when it is time push and respecting those limits without feeling like your body is letting you down is an act of kindness.

As we age we need our awareness to grow so that we can still enjoy our life and so that we can keep learning and growing. Can we do what we did 10 or 15 years ago? Somethings certainly not. But consider all those things that turned out to be bad ideas; only you lacked the awareness to know back then. Or what about all those things that you wouldn’t even think of trying out 10 or 15 years ago because you lacked the experience and the imagination. Bottom line, we change. And if we want to keep enjoying life we need to be cognizant of that change and adapt.

Another act of kindness, adapting. And adapting does not mean giving up, it means recognizing your options and identifying moments of opportunity to create more options for yourself.

How dance helps us adapt

I am sure you can now see where all this is going. Dance, teaches you how to adapt and create options. Learn to hug versatility and variety because this is our environment.

So if your practice is not going well one day, take a step back, pause for a second. Every practice is never the same as the one before or the one after it. Maybe you are tired or preoccupied. Can you find a way to keep moving? Is “keep moving” even a good option for you in this moment? If not what could be a good option? Stillness? Ok! You can learn a lot in stillness as well.

See, our movement practice should run on kindness in order for us to progress or we will end up tired battling through every frustrating moment.

And that of course spills into our relationship with our partners. Now you may be working with one specific partner or this can be applied to a social setting, like a milonga, where you may be changing partners. In both cases, but especially in the latter, kindness always wins!

When things don’t work out, think of all the tough moments you have gone through and safely assume that your partner has been through the same. Don’t get judgemental, instead see if you can find or create options for yourself? This might actually be revealing to you. It may show you a different way to approach your dancing. Not simply offering different technique tools but offering THE technique tool!

Which is… Adapting! Or simply put, making do with what you got! A much kinder approach towards yourself and towards your partner.

Try it out next time you practice or go to a milonga, it is actually fun!

Chrisa

P.S: For more writings such as this, that go beyond technique tips, check out our book “It Takes You to Tango”

Advanced dancer, Argentine tango, Argentine tango technique, Art, be yourself, Dance, Emboying the rules, Milonga, mindfulness, Musicality, online tango practice, progress in dance, social dancing, social skills, Tango practice, Traditional Tango

Tango a way to tell our story..!

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Though this is mainly a Tango and movement practice focused website, today I want to share with you a short personal story.
So after my practice the other day, I was preparing this video for Pro Dancer shoes. At the time I didn’t think much of it. It in the beginning just yet another video only focused on the feet. But things were not as straight forward as I had initially thought.
Let me tell you… It took me 20mins to finish! And it involved a lot of starting and stoping and a bit of frustration of course.

Tango can be frustrating some times..!

Some time had to go by, for me to realize the reason I was getting frustrated. I was focusing so so much on the shoes than on the dance itself.

Let me just show the 1st attempt that I think it is acceptable and so I can actually share it with you. It is not the 1st attempt of that day, it is the 1st acceptable attempt.

The intent was to show case the shoes. The problem is that focusing on that thought I wasn’t really paying attention to anything else. The result is having a feeling of disconnect to the music and my feelings of the dance.

As you can understand, even in this acceptable version frustration is still there and for good reason!

So what did I do?

Well the obvious..! I thought: “ok, forget about the shoes and JUST dance!” 
There was a moment that I actually thought, I am making no progress so there is not much point to this. I should instead simply dance and if something worth sharing comes out of it, then all the better!

Of course, things started getting better, and I actually really enjoyed myself plus the video is pretty good I think. At least it does the job and most importantly I was happier doing it.

Of course this is Tango related but not because it is about a Tango video

So why am I telling you this?

Let’s take shoes out of the story and pick something else. What do you feel uncomfortable with in your dance? The beat, the sequences, the posture, if your partner is going to get bored…? Whatever it is, think about how that issue affects your time in the milonga. Think how it grabs all your focus, and doesn’t let you see anything else. It actually spoils your night!

The thing is, that whatever the issue is, it can’t be solved in the milonga and the more you focus on that you are missing out on everything else!

Especially, for milongas, focus on having a good time! Allow yourself to enjoy your dances, to embrace your partners and get lost in the music! I am sure you have missed that as much as I have.
There is no point missing out for something you can’t possibly do anything about at that moment plus in many cases if you go with flow things get actually a lot better!

Tango a way to tell your story

So to transition to our drills and tips, even these very tips and drills, remember they are here to help and not to become trapping elements for you to stress over when you are dancing in milonga.
Practice, devote time in your practice but also enjoy the fruits of this practice!

Lastly, after sharing all this wisdom.. (haha) only keep the advise if it helps you and if not put it to the side and find what works for you! 😉

Let me know your thoughts in the comments or better yet subscribe to our community and continue the conversation there!

Enjoy,

Chrisa

Advanced dancer, Argentine tango, body awareness, community, Dance, Emboying the rules, mindfulness, motivation, online tango practice, social dancing, social skills

Feeling comfortable, what does it truly mean..?

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Feeling comfortable, is commonly associated with feeling good and at ease. Specifically in movement when we are saying we are comfortable in a pose or moving through a sequence, we usually mean that we are. not feeling pain or that we’ve generally got it.

Or like last week when looking at balancing the forces running through our body, when we achieve that we can say we are comfortable. Can we though say the same for the journey to achieve balance? Pushing through frustration when things are not working out in our practice. Or even pushing through pain… Would we say that we are comfortable with what practicing entails overall?

I would think not… but we might need to start thinking about comfort in those terms.

Be Comfortable with being human

One of my dear teachers Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen the other day put up a quick post on how feeling comfortable may be misunderstood.

I will only share an excerpt of her post here with you:
“(…) comfort doesn’t mean not having pain. It’s that we are here in our body. And maybe we are totally miserable but we are here.”

You can read the whole post here if you would like. It is short and truly sweet!

Don’t be mistaken I am not suggesting that you simply accept misery and defeat. Quite the contrary, be comfortable with being angry, frustrated, stressed, upset etc…. (you fill in that gap). Once you are comfortable with that feeling you can more clearly decide how you are going to deal with it.

Let’s take a Tango example, though you can apply this to life off the dancefloor as well of course.
Say you are coming back to social dancing after Covid, you are thirsty for Tango, you have just missed so much!
You get to the milonga, and you don’t get to dance much… suddenly the bad memories are crippling in.
Rejection, loneliness, feeling left out… etc.

That moment what do you do?
Do you pep-talk yourself out of it, forcing yourself to feel ok about the situation?
Or do you try to push past it, not to let disappointment kill the night?
Maybe the third choice, the what-did-I-expect-nothing-has-changed type of reaction.

The above reactions do not really allow us to sit with the feeling that is bubbling up. And they are really distractions or leave-for-later options.
So what I am suggesting is that if you are feeling disappointed, rejected, alone etc. feel comfortable with that feeling. Feel comfortable with being upset! It is absolutely ok!
Once comfortable with the feeling itself, you may then see more possible reactions to it that may resolve the issue.

The solution may not be obvious and most likely won’t just pop-up. You might need to step away from the dancefloor, go the bar, just sit and watch or even call it a night. But you would have taken the first step by saying:
“I am upset about this and I am totally comfortable with that. Now let’s resolve this!”

A little challenge to put things to the test

Another way to test your levels of comfort is of course practicing, and especially practicing alone.
Working on the little things, on the subtle things that may though bring huge change to how you move and dance.

Are you comfortable when things are not really working?
Or when you are not getting it?
Are you comfortable with putting in the time but not seeing immediate results?

I invite you to test it out for yourself with this practice on posture!
And if frustration starts building up, which of course it is not my intention, but if it does…allow yourselves to sit with that feeling comfortably!

So you know, this is kind of putting two birds in one nest. Practice for the body and the mind/ spirit!

Enjoy and join us for more by subscribing at our community

Chrisa

progress in dance, Tango practice, Uncategorized

The REAL reason people quit Tango, and how YOU can grow your passion

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If you are Tango-ista, going from milonga to milonga, from festival to festival and from workshop to workshop. To quit Tango probably sounds absolutely insane to you… I am sorry you have taken a wrong “click” into this post…
This is a post for quitters really… Yes..!
So let me fast forward you to the part where I am saying how you should be practicing for better and faster results… Here you go:

And if after this you are even more fired up to get started take a look at Intelligent Tango,  the practice course I wish I had when I was building on my Tango passion..!

For the rest of you though… Why do you want to quit?

Why do you want to quit? And actually, why do people quit in general?

I mean I have talked to many different people and they all seem to have a similar problem… the COMMUNITY…

People say things like:

“leaders only want to dance with young and good looking women”
“I feel very nervous, like everyone in judging me…”
“people are too snobbish in Tango, so unwelcoming and rude”
“nobody wants to dance with me… I have been trying  so hard and still none of the good dancers will dance with me” etc etc etc

And let me add a personal note, just in case you are thinking that I am from some other planet… So I used to think that it had to do with the culture..

Yes! Apparently, in my head, the communities in Greece were more welcoming than in Toronto because of a cultural background…

That is not only rude and obnoxious, it is also the lamest excuse, and a bunch of BS, that I used to feed myself instead of putting in the work to actually fit in, meet new people and actually give something to the community.

So with all my love, it is not the community, it is YOU!

It is YOU and your mindset about social dancing, about practicing to become actually better and about sharing an EXPERIENCE with other people.

Where your mind sets, is essential in any sort of hobby you are trying to pick up and today I am going to share with you 3 mindset techniques so you can start building richer experiences on and off the dance floor:

  1. Crush the cliches
  2. Take an honesty bath
  3. Bet on your strengths
  4. Build a clever practice
1.CRUSH the cliches..!

Cliche: “is an expression, idea, or element of an artistic work which has become overused to the point of losing its original meaning or effect, even to the point of being trite or irritating, especially when at some earlier time it was considered meaningful or novel” Wikipedia

  • Dance like nobody’s watching
  • Feel the music
  • In Tango there is one body with 4 legs
  • It takes 2 to Tango

What do these phrases mean? They say a lot and nothing at the same time, leaving more confused, and unmotivated!

Replace cliches with REAL words.  Lets give it a try…

  • Dance feeling free and creative. Express yourself through movement with confidence. Don’t give a damn about what other people think
  • LISTEN intently. Spend a lot of time mapping out the song in your mind and body.
    [Check this video out: https://youtu.be/i7YX85leP1Y]
  • Be part of a TRUE partnership, where two partners come together to create something beautiful. Share responsibility!
  • Practice to prepare yourself to be THERE for your partner.

Real words will take you out of the complaining gutter and show you what you need to do next.

Here is a powerful technique that you can use right NOW to replace cliches:

Close your eyes and picture something you consider beautiful–non Tango related.
It can be a follower or a Christmas tree or a beach. Anything you find beautiful.
Focus your mind to its details, at such a level that you can feel as if that thing is right there next to you. Don’t quit before you can see every little details, until you can reach out and grab it.

Share the details either with your partner or with yourself in any form–verbal or written

Close your eyes again and now picture YOUR ideal Tango image, again in every detail.
See yourself in the way you wish to be seen. Feel how you wish to be feeling. Move in the way you wish to be moving.
Don’t judge yourself. Don’t think how you will make there. Only create that Ideal image.

Share those details, without leaving anything out, be REAL!
How did you look, how did you feel?

Examples: “I saw myself in bright red dress, doing a giro. The form wasn’t fully structured, instead it looked like me and my partner where forming the yin and yang. I felt free, able to share and ready to receive, balanced and secure. And having a lot of fun” J

REAL words paint GREATER pictures!

2. Take an honesty bath

Especially when we are at an intermediate level, we have a feeling that we are in fact AWESOME! haha

At this stage your ego is your biggest enemy.
“The ego-dog at it’s own door is like a lion” Rumi

The best way to win over ego is to take a reality bath… A video… Of yourself…  Practicing or dancing…

Sit back… Aaaaaand let reality hit you!

Look at the video as if it wasn’t your own. Look at yourself as if it was a stranger dancing. See how you really are, and don’t offer any excuses to yourself.

Now don’t take action right away. Instead, sit down consider your flaws and acknowledge your strengths.

You don’t want to be like one of those people who rush into action and then get discouraged with the first hiccup.
You see people like that all the time… Every January for example they rush to the gym only to give up on February..! haha

Don’t be like those people, this is what you do instead:

  1. Indentify what the problem ACTUALLY is
  2. Find the source of the problem
  3. Build a sustainable AND enjoyable practice to fix it

Sources to help out with this task:
How you have made your Tango struggles worse
And
Build your ideal dance mindset

3. Bet on your Strengths

So many people will tell you the opposite: practice to correct and fix your flaws…

But I will ask you this: How would you know you are going in the right direction if you have no point of reference?

via GIPHY

That is you right now, right? hahaha

Enough walking in the dark, START FROM YOUR STRENGTHS!

Start working on things you are actually good at. Things you KNOW you are doing correctly. From things that make you feel GOOD! Quadriple on them, and then address your flaws… this way you have an experience to compare your correcting actions to.

For example: Say your walks are great. You feel in control but not tensed, you have a nice steady flow to your walk and you really feel connected while doing them. On the other hand, when you are doing your ochos, you feel stuck, tensed and unbalanced.

This is how you should structure your practice:

  1. 3 quarters of your time you work on your walks( so from 1 hour: 45mins you do walks)
  2. Pay attention and grab all the details that make your walks so GREAT
  3. 1 quarter of your time, you work on your ochos
  4. After you start noticing a shift in how your ochos are feeling ADD on some more practice time to ochos.

This way you enhance your strengths and you use them to correct your flaws.
You have measurables; How many great ochos, can I do today
And you can control your practice, so you can STOP before your technique fails you

4. Build a smart practice

If you are ready to become the dancer you know you can be…
JOIN US!
Subscribe to bautanz.com and lets practice together!
I don’t just share exercises and drills but also mindset technique, tips on social skills and much much more

I hope to talk to you soon!

Chrisa

Special thanks for the guidance to: Tim Ferriss Michael Gervais Eric Ripert Terry Laughlin