Tag Archives: advanced tango dancers

How have you made your Tango dislikes WORSE?

I was listening to this podcast, this past Friday for the 3rd time…haha…yes I liked it a lot and among many other things I found this little gem question, by Jerry Colonna:

“How have you contributed to your dis-pleasures?” (approximate quote but you get the idea)

Isn’t that an awesome, counter-intuitive question?

Think about it, people usually either ask what we did to make things better or they throw their advice right in our face…

Like the 30th time you had a massive fight with your boyfriend and you ran to a friend furious and complaining, only to see them throw their hands in their air and say: “Enough already why don’t just break up with him?”

Don’t you want to punch them in the face?
Hahaha

Why you should ask yourself that question?

Personally, I loved this question because it makes us realize of unconscious decisions that make us miserable plus it gives us a place to start fixing..!

I translated to Tango like so: What are your Tango dislikes and how have you made them worse?
And look what happened…

Here is what a student and friend left as a comment under this picture on FB:
(…) I dislike the attitude of various students. Ego has no place in Tango in my opinion, its a patient dance about the happenings between steps; not a race, show or exercise but a dance. I’ve seen many many kind beautiful souls give up over a bad experience. I don’t really know how else to describe what i see, its like flashy politeness. That classy private sense of creativity and understanding that was once so captivatingly palpable has started to look shallow.

I’ve made this worse by not being the best dancer i could be;  at times, I’ ve compromised rhythm to create smoother movement and connection but it creates a clutter on the dance floor cultivating a subculture of mediocrity rather than learning better leading. I’ve been known to do flurries of ochos, attempt sacadas from strange positions, shirk away from a suddenly really intimate embrace, and not give the lady room or time to completely transfer onto her steps. And all is considered generally uncaring behavior, uncharacteristic of the Tango. (…)” Boris

See the full answer here: My Tango likes & Tango dislikes and how I’ve made them worse

Isn’t it now so much easier for Boris to progress? Knowing what causes the trouble and how he has messed up?

My Tango dislikes and how I have made them worse
My Tango Dislikes:
  1. It looks like a very mature and serious dance BUT for most of us, it takes a lot of time to reach a true maturity physically and mentally
  2. There is no challenge towards the teachers. Meaning students will hardly ever challenge their teacher. They hear the rules and just do them, without judgement.
  3. There is no challenge for the students, because teachers usually–not all–don’t invite the students to question anything… They don’t pose any questions and they rush to give answers. But that is no way to grow
How I’ve made my Tango dislikes worse:
  1. I have been that student and I have been that teacher
  2. I wasn’t asking my teachers any challenging questions
  3. Assumed that every teacher I’ve had, knew it all
  4. Even the questions I did ask, I wasn’t always fully listening
  5. I didn’t appreciate the teachers who really pushed me
  6. When I practiced I didn’t keep any record of what I did, what worked and what didn’t, for my teachers to have something to work with
  7. I researched at a minimum extent
  8. Pretended I was serious and deep spirited instead of spending REAL time growing my knowledge and feeding my spirit
  9. As a teacher I was afraid of my students getting better than me–NOT consciously of course
  10. I wouldn’t allow myself to face all the things I didn’t know
What I like about Tango:

The fact that it has allowed me to rediscover myself.
My passion for Tango made me push my limits, face my fears, take risks and grow.
It challenges me to become better not for someone else but for ME.

I like Tango because of how it makes me feel on and off the dance floor

How to reverse the damage?

Start from yourself!

Ask yourself these 3 questions:

  • What you like about Tango
  • What you dislike about Tango and
  • How have you made it worse

Be honest with yourself and you will then know EXACTLY how to proceed…

Look at this video for example of me before and after:
3 ways to go from good enough to great and beyond

Also if you have followed this blog or are a subscriber you will know that I share podcasts, articles and videos on various themes that I find inspirational, motivational and helpful for people who want to change and progress

If you have watched videos such as this: Heels Vs Toes
or taken any of my classes you know that I ask more questions than the answers I give…

Lastly, I ASK my teachers and peers questions–better late than never, right? hahaha
https://bautanz.com/2017/10/22/meet-mentor-ermis-karaboulas/

There is still a long way to go BUT the path is bright and clear!

Leave your comments below or send me an email with your thoughts, questions and answers, I would love it if I could help you out!

Best,
Chrisa

 

 

 

 

Dance and the Fear of becoming an advanced dancer

“One of the things I dislike about Tango is that many people settle in routines… I have settled too” J
“I am afraid that if I become a really advanced dancer, I will have nobody to dance with”, M

No no these people are not snobs, quite the contrary…

Translate to: “What if I spend all this time and money and end up dancing the same way?” OR “What is the point of learning new things if I am not going to use them?”
And you will see that you have probably fallen into the same trap!

The fear of becoming a truly advanced dancer

Think of yourself going to your local milonga. You walk in expecting to see familiar faces and looking forward to dancing with dear dance partners.
There are a few people who you love to dance with, because your dances are just amazing. There are others that your dances are fun but not amazing.
And then there is that extra category of people… The really advanced dancers. The dancers you wish danced with you, because they look really spectacular on the dance floor…

Now lets think a few months from now… Say you have taken some more classes and put some hours of practice in.
You are starting to feel more confident. There are all these new things that you have learned and you want to use them during your dance.
Maybe you have learned some new sequences, or you have refined your musicality or technique.

You are now walking in the milonga feeling inspired, in high spirits and with high expectations.
First dance is with a good friend and a good partner… Usually an awesome way to start the night…

But things are not going as you expected…

You are feeling restrained.  Something is off.
Things are working but you are just feeling disconnected. You are trying to use the things you have learned but nothing is working…

This is terrible! And the worst part is that your partner is feeling the same way.

Next tanda no change. Things are just getting worse and worse.
The milonga ends and you feel frustrated: “I took all these classes, I practiced for all this time and for what? What on earth is going on?”

A few milongas go by and bling here is a thought: “Of course I have to adjust my dancing to the level of my partner. Of course nobody is as advanced as I am now”

And down the rabbit hole you go!

via GIPHY

Why this marks the end?

Here are a couple of reasons that you need to pull yourself out of that mindset:

  1. It is not very nice to start with.
    It sounds a bit like you are doing people a favor. Your intention is of a kind and gentle nature but still people might feel you pity them. If they pick up on a vibe like that say bye-bye to those partners.
  2. The above statement might be true when it comes to intricate sequences, musicality games, or demanding routines…But YOUR technique, and how much you are enjoying YOUR movement has nothing to do with your partner–nasty, rude weirdos excluded
  3. It leaves you with no incentive to get any better. If you aren’t going to be using any of the new things you learn then why learn them in the first place, right?
  4. It enhances on the fear of: “What if I spend all this time and this money and end up dancing with same people the exact same way”
  5. It instills the idea that Tango is action-reaction when in fact it is a 2 people coming together to create something beautiful
Stop sabotaging yourself..!
Become the dancer you know you can be

Action Step #1: Change of mindset

Stop counting your level in how many classes, dances, festivals, hours, years you are in…

Action Step #2: Accept the responsibility for being advanced

It is not the years nor the sequences, the embellishments or the number of festivals.
But being able to take responsibility for the overall experience of the dance.

An advanced dancer knows if their dance is bad, why it is bad and what to do to fix it.

In Tango an advanced dancer knows very well that:

  • When things work out it is on THEM
  • But when things DON’T work out it is AGAIN on them

Action Step #3: Go from action-reaction to connect and create

How you connect with someone is a marker to how advanced you actually are.

Beginner way of connecting: My partner pushes and I push back
Advanced
way of connecting: Energy offered, absorbed–>movement created and energy is offered back and absorbed

Leading and following are interrelated at a much higher level than just action-reaction

Action Step #4: You CAN inspire

People are not only inspired by great teachers. They are also inspired by someone who puts in the effort, the time and the courage to push his/her limits and grow to a really advanced dancer.

By “ordinary” people who commit to something they are passionate about. People who want to be great at a hobby because it is valuable time spent on themselves.

You can inspire someone by living a richer–in experiences–life on and off the dance floor!

If you want to be an advanced dancer, we can do it together..!