“One of the things I dislike about Tango is that many people settle in routines… I have settled too” J
“I am afraid that if I become a really advanced dancer, I will have nobody to dance with”, M
No no these people are not snobs, quite the contrary…
Translate to: “What if I spend all this time and money and end up dancing the same way?” OR “What is the point of learning new things if I am not going to use them?”
And you will see that you have probably fallen into the same trap!
The fear of becoming a truly advanced dancer
Think of yourself going to your local milonga. You walk in expecting to see familiar faces and looking forward to dancing with dear dance partners.
There are a few people who you love to dance with, because your dances are just amazing. There are others that your dances are fun but not amazing.
And then there is that extra category of people… The really advanced dancers. The dancers you wish danced with you, because they look really spectacular on the dance floor…
Now lets think a few months from now… Say you have taken some more classes and put some hours of practice in.
You are starting to feel more confident. There are all these new things that you have learned and you want to use them during your dance.
Maybe you have learned some new sequences, or you have refined your musicality or technique.
You are now walking in the milonga feeling inspired, in high spirits and with high expectations.
First dance is with a good friend and a good partner… Usually an awesome way to start the night…
But things are not going as you expected…
You are feeling restrained. Something is off.
Things are working but you are just feeling disconnected. You are trying to use the things you have learned but nothing is working…
This is terrible! And the worst part is that your partner is feeling the same way.
Next tanda no change. Things are just getting worse and worse.
The milonga ends and you feel frustrated: “I took all these classes, I practiced for all this time and for what? What on earth is going on?”
A few milongas go by and bling here is a thought: “Of course I have to adjust my dancing to the level of my partner. Of course nobody is as advanced as I am now”
And down the rabbit hole you go!
Why this marks the end?
Here are a couple of reasons that you need to pull yourself out of that mindset:
- It is not very nice to start with.
It sounds a bit like you are doing people a favor. Your intention is of a kind and gentle nature but still people might feel you pity them. If they pick up on a vibe like that say bye-bye to those partners.
- The above statement might be true when it comes to intricate sequences, musicality games, or demanding routines…But YOUR technique, and how much you are enjoying YOUR movement has nothing to do with your partner–nasty, rude weirdos excluded
- It leaves you with no incentive to get any better. If you aren’t going to be using any of the new things you learn then why learn them in the first place, right?
- It enhances on the fear of: “What if I spend all this time and this money and end up dancing with same people the exact same way”
- It instills the idea that Tango is action-reaction when in fact it is a 2 people coming together to create something beautiful
Stop sabotaging yourself..!
Become the dancer you know you can be
Action Step #1: Change of mindset
Stop counting your level in how many classes, dances, festivals, hours, years you are in…
Action Step #2: Accept the responsibility for being advanced
It is not the years nor the sequences, the embellishments or the number of festivals.
But being able to take responsibility for the overall experience of the dance.
An advanced dancer knows if their dance is bad, why it is bad and what to do to fix it.
In Tango an advanced dancer knows very well that:
- When things work out it is on THEM
- But when things DON’T work out it is AGAIN on them
Action Step #3: Go from action-reaction to connect and create
How you connect with someone is a marker to how advanced you actually are.
Beginner way of connecting: My partner pushes and I push back
Advanced way of connecting: Energy offered, absorbed–>movement created and energy is offered back and absorbed
Leading and following are interrelated at a much higher level than just action-reaction
Action Step #4: You CAN inspire
People are not only inspired by great teachers. They are also inspired by someone who puts in the effort, the time and the courage to push his/her limits and grow to a really advanced dancer.
By “ordinary” people who commit to something they are passionate about. People who want to be great at a hobby because it is valuable time spent on themselves.
You can inspire someone by living a richer–in experiences–life on and off the dance floor!
If you want to be an advanced dancer, we can do it together..!